After an approximately two year hiatus from the blogging world, Nur is officially back in the game, ready to expose the workings of my mind to any eyes who so desire a peek. So, journey forth, and enter the realm of Nur’s midnight Ramadan ramblings.
I have been twenty for exactly one month, a reality that doesn’t quite blow my mind as much as it did during my last month of being nineteen when I was desperately holding on to the last remnants of my teenagehood. The irony is that back when I was turning thirteen (in the long-ago year of 2011), I was very resistant to the idea of becoming a teenager. But nevertheless, I became one, and then I stopped being one, and now I’m twenty.
And on this seventh night of Ramadan (how is it already the 7th??), I reflect on the Ramadans I have lived through so far and what I want this Ramadan to hold for me. Whenever Ramadan approaches, I eagerly await the blessed month and the reinvigorating spiritual energy that comes with it. I usually take out the decorations and Ramadan-themed cookie cutters and get random bursts of motivation to do some big pre-Ramadan project.
This year, the craziness of the spring semester ended a mere week before Ramadan started, so I didn’t even begin physically and mentally preparing for the month until it was almost at my (metaphorical) door. There was a big rush to get myself into Ramadan zone, and I entered Ramadan on a thrilling high. Everything from suhoor to taraweeh thrilled me to my core. However, now that I’ve settled into the month, I’m worried about my excitement and motivation crashing down as dramatically as they rose up in the beginning.
I began this Ramadan with the intention of really making this month all about the Qur’an, a goal that sounds all fine and dandy in theory, but is actually way too vague in practice. I had big aims to memorize and study a bunch of different portions of the Qur’an, but now it is time for me to narrow down my specific achievable Qur’an-related goals and getting around to accomplishing them before Ramadan slips away for another year. The truth is that I’ve had the goal to finish memorizing Surah Maryam for the past two years in a row and never actually finished more than two pages, and recently I’ve become obsessed with Surah Qasas so Surah Maryam has been on the back burner a bit. But the good news is, I have been blessed with another Ramadan, and this Ramadan is totally going to be a different story.
One of my primary goals this Ramadan was to restart my blog, and look at me. Here I am, miraculously at the end of my first post! Now for accomplishing the other items on my list…
My stomach is now grumbling because it is way past time for me to eat my midnight meal, so farewell for now.